I wish to write now…I wish to bleed now.
Write down these words, leave its mark on this paper.
Heavy with the memories of years before, picked up by yesterdays.
Through you I see the bright lights off all of them, they hurt my eyes.
I have to write now….I wish to bleed now.
Ever so slowly I spread out my fingers and hold them, trembling.
I wish to feel the touch, the touch of you when for me you’re breathing.
Your lips slowly parted, but now i remember them, into the night you’ll be crying.
Ever so slowly I close my fist, my lips parted, with each breath my memories they’re trembling.
In the stillness of the night, I kept moving, my mind unsure of any reasoning.
I dared and rested on your smile, only an illusion, I pulled myself away.
Reasons brushed aside, I went back, desperate for an understanding.
I pleaded, let this be mine….just like this I wish I could forever stay.
You resistances were broken, my hands were blinded by desire.
I felt you tremble of exhaustion, your breath a gust now grew fainter.
What failed at pleading you tried to hold down, and you now began to tire.
my complications of existence, flamed by despair, guilt longed into desire.
I had so much in so less…
and now I am left with so less, with so much…
Maybe this is how she too feels, I suppose.
But here I speak not of her from yesterday, yesterday knows.
I can still feel her heart beat in my breath and on my fingers.
In these darkness, my passage through sad memories, loneliness triggers.
Separation seeks me to confide to her, but to bear it within I think is a must.
The dagger that cuts others, should sometimes hurt us too, this is only too just.
For someone to hear, just one honest sigh my breath they seek…
My eyes plead, just one warm tear to roll off my cheek.
What have I become ? My mind a cursed seed.
I do not wish to write anymore…I just wish, even I could bleed.